Festina Lente, “make haste slowly,” a Latin adage encourages. This slogan seems so fitting for the Christian life! Usually the Lord only reveals to us the one next good step. In my experience, this is true of prayer, healing, and discernment- especially a large discernment, such as of one’s vocation. God doesn’t give us a five year plan but invites us to follow Him step by step. His plan and one’s discernment unfolds over time. So there is no need to rush. Where you are right now is so good!
Discernment happens in relationships. The most important of these relationships is undoubtedly the relationship with the Lord, but we need other people as well. Without these relationships, one can tend to try to discern alone in her head which can easily lead to a lot of overthinking and anxious analyzing. So where can a young woman discerning religious life find the relationships that will assist her in discernment? These can be trusted friends, family, a spiritual director, or a mentor in the Christian life. For women discerning religious life, the Sisters who serve in vocation ministry are here to assist you as well! You don’t have to “figure it out” all alone. For each woman who attends a discernment retreat, our Sisters offer phone calls both before and after the retreat to help her identify the working of God’s grace at this season in her life. Our Sisters also regularly accompany women beyond discernment retreat to assist them with the discernment process.
A vocation is where one becomes most herself, because it is the space where we live more attuned to the way God created us to love.
At the moment of your creation and baptism, God instilled your vocation in your heart. Discernment is the process of learning what is already within. A key moment in my discernment of religious life came when I suddenly realized that I had been praying since I was a child that my life would be spent proclaiming the truth of the Real Presence, that Jesus is who He says He is in the Eucharist. It wasn’t a new prayer, though I experienced it in a new way that day. The prayer of my life had been flowering slowly enough that now I could finally see what had always been there. Thus discernment is really a process of self-discovery. As you discern religious life, continue getting to know yourself, to uncover the exquisite beauty of your heart. Notice your heart’s reactions to various life experiences. What makes your heart skip a beat, so to say, or soar with delight? Where do you notice any hesitancy or reticence? As you recognize these things, try to notice and accept them with curiosity and without judgement.
I often think that discerning our vocation is like sitting at a table across from Jesus. As you notice things, it’s like setting them on the table for you and Jesus to look at together. You are simply noticing things- what you’re excited about, how you connect with various Sisters, things that make you feel afraid, etc.- together with Him. After doing this for a good amount of time, Jesus may one day gently move some things on the table into a different position. Suddenly you see things in a brand new way! When this happens, things make sense which had always been there though you didn’t yet understand the larger story of how these things fit together. The important thing is just to notice and present things to the Lord to look at together without feeling the pressure to “figure it out” or understand how everything fits together just yet.
One of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is peace. Thus it is safe to follow peace. As you discern how God has called you to love and become a saint, notice what brings true peace to your heart. We do need to personally distinguish the difference between experiences of peace and those of comfort, ease, or an emotion of happiness.There may still be challenges or some fear while the peace exists. If there is true peace from God, we are able to continue moving forward while fears or uncertainties remain.
So what might be the next good step for you in discerning your vocation? I encourage you to notice the movements of your heart as you continue to discover yourself. That next good step will be very personal to each of us. Perhaps it may be strengthening an aspect of your daily prayer life by including Scripture, the sacraments, silence, etc. Maybe the Lord is inviting you to simply focus on your relationship with Him and wait for Him to invite you to open (or re-open) the door to religious life. Maybe He is inviting you into a season of healing. Perhaps He is encouraging you to reach out to the Sisters- to fill out an inquiry form, set up a phone call, or sign up to attend a discernment retreat. I am confident that He is inviting you deeper into relationship with Him and not to ‘hyper-focus’ on discernment as an end in and of itself.
I once heard a story of a young man who met Mother Teresa. He asked her to pray for him to have certainty about what God was asking in a particular situation in his life. She responded by telling him that she wouldn’t pray for that. Never had she had certainty in her life, but she did have trust. So she would pray that he would have trust in God. Often women who are discerning will ask Sisters, “When did you know?” That knowledge is a slow unfolding, and the truth is that commitment is scary. But the deeper truth is that you, dear one, are capable of it! You were made for such an eternal, committed, and covenantal love! As the Second Vatican Council teaches us, “Man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.” (Gaudium et Spes, 24)